A few weeks ago, I jokingly suggested to an ill friend;
"What are we going to do with you dear lad…
Should I take you out into the back 40 and shoot you, put you out of your misery?
I know mercy killings aren’t legal; but I could probably escape detection if I purchase an untraceable long gun.
Suddenly a thought occurred;
Oooppsss silly me – forgot that my emails and facebook are being tapped – I fear I may have incriminated myself beyond even the OJ Dream Team’s chances of winning me acquital… Perhaps if I'm lucky I will be incarcerated in one of the new jails. Have you heard yet whether they will have windows? I'd like to catch a glimpse of those new jets I've been hearing about.
Do you think they'll allow me internet access? Oh again, on further thought, I realize that too is a silly question. I'll no doubt be put to work monitoring social media sites to fill the bunks and cells next to me with pedophiles; the "environmentalists and other radicals" who are bent on ruining the Canadian economy; and evil traitors who hold views which differ from the "real" Canadians who share #cpc values.
On further consideration, a thought occurs which may offer me a window of hope for prevailing in court. I have written proof that CPC Minister Tony Clement considers private correspondence sacrosanct. I was chided severely by him for publishing twitter dm's that he and I exchanged. So perhaps that would stand as precedent or at very least grounds for mistrial.
Oh tsk tsk…there I go again; I'm not thinking this through very clearly am I? I doubt there will be many pedophiles. The court system is so underfunded that suspected and accused on-line predators wait so long for their case to be heard (24+ months I think it was in the most recent case in BC) that the judges have to dismiss the case.
And that's when it occurred to me - if I gaze deeply into my crystal ball, and do a spreadsheet to analyze the pros and cons, prison may in fact be the *most* viable option for my retirement. Certainly it ranks higher in many categories than most retirement homes and/or hospitals.
· I'll be in the company of people who care about democracy and voice their opinions (who just happen to be my personal favorite type of people)
· no doubt there will be a good number of recreational pot smokers… So if they still have connections on the outside, that would help my arthritis enormously.
· I won't need to be concerned about my Old Age Security or CPP. ...or my mortgage...or skyrocketing cost of gas or hydro...or what to make for dinner...
· I imagine I will be fed and receive health care
Sounds rather like I'd be living the proverbial 'Life of Riley'.
{SOURCE WIKIPEDIA: The expression, "Living the life of Riley" suggests an ideal contented life, possibly living on someone else's money, time or work. Rather than a negative freeloading or golddigging aspect, it implies that someone is kept or advantaged.}
The selfish part of me deems I ought to step up my timeline and intensity of egregious offences to ensure my earliest acceptance into CASA 'mi prision es tu prision' before everyone else figures this out and I have to go on a waiting list. But it won't be nearly as much fun if you aren't there with me, therefore I share this plan.
Now here's another thought that occurs:
If all of us - all the radical environmentalist traitorous whistleblowing democracy loving, intelligent, passionate, scientific, artistic, CARING people; all 'retire' to prison - WHO will be left to foot the bill?
Aah the irony; if Harper and his thugs incarcerate all of us; the only ones left to pay, will be a very small cadre of bankers and corporate elites. Perhaps they ought be careful what they wish and plot for; in case their wish comes true.
No comments:
Post a Comment